But If Not…

In my opinion, those 3 words were probably the most remarkable words ever spoken by mere men. 

Let me provide some more information.  Daniel 3:17 says:

“If it be [so], our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver [us] out of thine hand, O king. “

Then in the next verse, Rach, Shack, and Benny (for those VeggieTales fans) say the following:

“BUT IF NOT, be it known unto thee, O king, that we will not serve thy gods, nor worship the golden image which thou hast set up.”

So, why do I find those 3 words to be so powerful?  Perhaps it is because it showed their complete commitment to our God.  Their faith and devotion didn’t rest on God delivering them from death.  They believed He could deliver them, but didn’t know if it was His will to do so.  Regardless of the outcome, they were making it clear whose side they had chosen.

That is where I want to be.  I want to be so sold out to Christ that the outcome of any circumstance doesn’t matter.  My faith so solid that even death itself can’t shake it.

Kelly and I see ourselves currently facing our own “furnace.”  With the prognosis for Kelly’s dad, Donald, looking grim, we see the different directions we COULD possibly go.  Do we get angry?  Do we express thanksgiving?  Is our faith shaken such that we no longer see God as the loving and merciful God that He is?  It is easy to SAY the right answer, but we really find out who we really are when the flames are the hottest.  Unfortunately, I can’t say for certain how strong I am until I’ve gone through the trial.

One positive I see from any adversity is it makes you reflect on the times God has delivered and blessed you in the past.  I noted so many in such a short amount of time, I decided I needed to buy a journal and record them to pass down to my kids as a “heritage of faith” (this was my Mom’s idea).  If I can faithfully keep up w/ it, it will provide for encouragement during the down times.

Mother Nature

“If momma ain’t happy ain’t nobody happy.”  I heard that numerous times as a kid growing up.  Funny how true that was.  Same can be said for good ol’ Mother Nature.  In our morning announcements here at work, we are reminded that tornado season is coming upon us fairly quickly.  So, that prompted me to visit one of my favorite sites.

It’s no secret I’m a big tornado freak.  As luck would have it, my high school mascot was “The Mighty Tornadoes” (Dover High School in Dover, OH).  I find them to be a thing of violent beauty.  One of the coolest sites is www.tornadovidoeos.net.   Here is some amazing footage of actual tornadoes. 

Warning:  in the heat of the moment, the folks chasing these storms blurt out some choice words that would not be suitable for younger viewers.  Viewer discretion is advised (or just mute it).

While I understand their destructive power, I still can’t help but stand in awe of this amazing force.  Truly a remarkable force of nature.

Conflicting Reports

Well, as many of you know my wife, children, and dogs are currently in upstate South Carolina.  In late Jan. of this year, Kelly was told by her dad (Donald) that he only had 6 months left to live because of the advanced nature of his liver condition.  At that point, we planned for her to travel down to South Carolina while I was involved in the plant shutdown so she could either help him w/ getting on the transplant list or get his affairs in order. 

Since the day of getting the shocking news of the expected time line for Kelly’s dad, we have routinely received conflicting reports on his current condition.  One day we are told if we can get him a little better we would be able to get him on the transplant list.  The next day, we are being told it really doesn’t look like a transplant is an option.  Imagine this happening every other week for 2 months.  Frustrating to say the least.

Most recently we were told if we could get his kidneys back up to operating where they should we would get him on the list and in the mean time have him in an assisted living facility until he can get back on his feet.  No problem.  That sounds very encouraging.  Yesterday, however, we find out assisted living is probably not the path we should take as they couldn’t help him in the manner he needs.  We should look at hospice.  So, in the span of 48 hrs we go from ”well on our way” to bringing in hospice.  What is the deal?  When the admitting nurse from hospice looked at Donald’s chart, she didn’t think he even had 6 months.  It was her belief that if he entered hospice he would not leave.  So, you are beginning to understand our frustration.

I wish we could get more of a concrete answer.  Do the doctors REALLY think there is a good chance for a transplant or are they just offering lip service to the family?  I would appreciate a straight forward no nonsense answer more than getting false info only provided to keep our spirits up.  Kelly and her aunt are meeting with the hospice nurse as I type this and are going to ask very pointed questions in an attempt to get a more accurate view of where we currently are with Donald’s condition.  Updates will be provided later.

Through all of this, I would ask that each of you keep Kelly in your prayers.  She, no doubt, is going through a very stressful and tiring situation (both physically and emotionally).  Should things not work out as we would hope them to, we have a ton of decisions to make that neither of us have ever had to make…nor do we want to make them.  God has shown his grace and mercy to us by providing a large support network for her down there in my family, her aunt, and the large group of friends she has down there who have all helped in either watching the girls, being a sounding board for her, providing council during difficult decisions, or a bit of all the above.  Likewise, He has proven Himself a loving God in taking me off her list of concerns.  I know she is well aware I am being well taken care of by my church family (looking forward to the Flying Weenie, Jeff), and that relieves a huge burden from her shoulders.  Thank you to each of you.  You probably don’t know how much you have, are, and will encourage us, and as always your prayers are appreciated.

Breaking the Code (Part II)

I would never wish to be labeled unfair.  So, in an attempt to maintain harmony and produce a blog that offers equal exposure to both sides of the gender coin I will now embark on the male language.  For some reason I think the ladies will enjoy this one a bit more.  Hope you are entertained.

1.  “Uh huh” – If a woman says this to another woman, this demonstrates active listening skills.  When a guy says it, it is simply a place keeper (i.e. keep you in place where you are at on the couch and not have you get up in front of the TV to get his attention).  News flash: guys are not sneaky about using this technique.  It’s quite obvious.  Admittedly, my wife calls me on this all the time.

2. “In a minute” – This is a phrase that is simply a last ditch effort.  A stalling tactic.  The guy is well aware this phrase does not get the wife/girlfriend to leave him alone by saying this phrase.  On the contrary.  He knows it is just a matter of time before the “she devil” come back in the room and unleashes her wrath on him like a tidal wave.  However, this phrase is a meager attempt to shore that dam in an attempt to buy just a couple more minutes of game time.  Is it worth it?  It is if it allows you to get to half time without missing anything.

3. “Fine” – Contrary to She-nglish, when a guy says “fine” he is not using it as a place keeper for a future argument.  What this word means is “I’m sick of arguing about it, you win by default.”

4. “The game is on” – It doesn’t matter what game it is…it’s on.  This is not simply to inform the world that somewhere in America a game of some sort is being played.  No, it is a decree that for the next few hours anything that is not truly categorized as an emergency can wait.  Oh, and an emergency to a guy during game time is anything that will directly cause the loss of life in a short time…or the pizza is here.

5. “Of course I remember what today is” - Seriously, we’ve got no clue.  Just look at our expression.  Mildly panicked, sweating, looking around rapidly for clues.  What we are actually saying at this moment is “Oh crap.  What day IS it.  Think, think, think.  Shoot, still nothing.  Quick, make up some sappy lie…uh, like the first time I realized how beautiful your eyes are.  That’s it…that should at least buy me some mercy at the executioner’s table.”

6. “I’ll be right back” – This one is a situational one.  If we are headed into the lingerie section…we’ll be right back.  If we are going to the electronics section, don’t wait up for us.

I hope this balances out the two and provides a little bit of entertainment along the way.  If you have others please feel free to share.

Groundhog Day

Quite a few years ago, I saw a movie called Groundhog Day.  The movie is about a guy who relives the same day over and over and over until he gets it right.  The main character is played by Bill Murray and the leading actress is played by Andy McDowell.  Good movie, in my opinion.  I digress.  Anyways, I bring up this movie because this is what my life has felt like during the past couple of weeks.  Get home at 7am, go to bed, wake up at 2 or 3pm, spend a little time with the family, get showered and dressed for work, leave for work at 5:15pm, start the work day at 6pm, get relieved and head home at 6:30 am.  Day after day until I finally reach Sunday when I have a day off.

I think the most frustrating part is there is so much I don’t know right now.  The people I’m supposed to be supervising ask me a question and I don’t know the answer.  Fortunately I’m working with some really good folks who understand I have a VERY limited knowledge when it comes to knowing their job.  However, that doesn’t make it any less frustrating when I want to make a significant contribution to the shop but can’t because I simply don’t have the knowledge.  My eyes and ears are open, so each day I learn a little more.  However, I fear I’m not very patient when it comes to wanting the knowledge that can only come with time.

The good side of the plant shutdown and my 12hr shifts 6 days a week is the wonderful paychecks it will bring.  Even though I’m salary, I will receive straight time overtime pay for the 32 hours per week overtime I’m working.  I still can’t wait to be back on my regular schedule, however, and start getting back into the AWANA rotation, and being back at church both day and night.  Just a couple more weeks left.

I do owe my wife a big thank you for her patience during not just this odd schedule I’m working but also during the wrestling season that I just finished coaching in.  I know it’s not fun to deal with all this, but she has been extremely supportive and I love her so much for it.

A New Agenda

The dust in the Oval Office hadn’t even settled yet and already there is a stir being created from the man now holding the highest office in the land.  Pres. Obama has issued his agenda on the White House website…one of which is the expansion of the Hate Crimes Law.  Some will recall that there was some opposition to this law because of the impact it could have on the religious community.  Well, it appears that opposition has been voted out of office.    The following link is a memo from the Liberty Council outlining the dangers of such legislation and why America doesn’t need such legislation. (http://www.lc.org/media/9980/attachments/hatecrimes.pdf).  Be forewarned, it is a lengthy document.  It was written by lawyers, so I guess being wordy is kind of a prerequisite.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not for denying a person their basic human rights.  However, the fear I have is one that is discussed in great detail in the Liberty Council memo.  That fear is this law that is intended for good could very likely be used to quiet the preachers or cause them to water down their message regarding what the biblical definition of a family is and why homosexuality is wrong.  As it is written, if a person listening to a sermon about the wrongs of the homosexual lifestyle goes out and commits a crime against a person based upon their sexual orientation, the pastor could be charged with the crime as well if it can be proven that the action of one who committed the crime was a foreseeable result of the message.  If it can be proven that while the message was misunderstood the consequence was foreseeable (i.e. “We must stand strong as Christians against the homosexual agenda no matter the cost” could be easily tied to a crime committed by a confused and hateful person if he/she were present in a service to hear such a statement), the pastor could face a number of years in prison for promoting hate crimes.

Now, to end on a bit of a lighter note.  Included in Pres. Obama’s agenda is the expansion of the equal opportunity laws within the employment arena for gays, lesbians, bi-sexual, and CROSS DRESSING individuals.  My question (although not a serious one, I’ll admit) is how will any company establish a dress code if this passes?  What about the military?  Will guys be wearing the skirts of the females?  Boy, won’t that be a fierce military?!!?  “Stop or we’ll scratch your eyes out.”  Just something to consider.

Genghis Grill

Following the lead of my mentor, Mr.  Jeff Wheeler, I have decided to write about a place we recently ate that I think many of you may enjoy.  As indicated by the title, the name of the place is Genghis Grill.  You can find one of them on 1st Ave where Sienna Park used to be and the other is off Edgewood in the same plaza as Gander Mtn. 

The layout can be confusing at first, but rest assured it is a fairly simple process once you’ve gone through it once.  When you are seated, a metal bowl is placed on your table.  Rest assured that is NOT the bowl you will eat from.  You take that bowl to Khan’s Kitchen (a buffet type setup w/ uncooked meat and vegetables) and fill it with whatever meats you want first.  A few of the meats to choose from are chicken, beef, steak, ham, shrimp, and pepperoni to name a few.  You can have any or all of them.  Next, you add the seasoning.  I chose a Cajun spice for my steak and chicken.  Looking back, I wished I had also added some cayenne seasoning.  Next, you move to the vegetable area.  I added the mongo mix (a mixture of red & green peppers along with onions), potatoes, and broccoli.  There are so many more vegetables to choose from.  I’m just letting you know what I chose.  Finally, you must add the sauce.  I added the dragon sauce.  The dragon sauce could best be described as sweet & sour sauce w/ a kick.  Lastly, you tell the man at the grill whether you want noodles or rice.  If you want rice, you have your choice of brown, white, or fried rice.  Lastly, you wait for YOUR creation to be completed.  My entire family loved the food, the quiet atmosphere (until we arrived with Carsyn and Olivia), and the reasonable price.

Needless to say, I highly recommend this to everyone.  Even the vegetarians among us can eat there and still maintain a clear conscience.  Give it a try and let me know what you think.

Monkey See, Monkey Do.

Today, I had the opportunity to sit down by myself for lunch.  It was fairly nice.  First, I got to actually eat lunch.  Second, I was left alone.  Now, those who know me know that I’m not antisocial by any means.  However, there are times when I like to just sit and think.  Admittedly, I do not do this enough.

During the quiet moments when I’m reflecting on my life, my family always surfaces to the forefront.  Almost without exception, I begin a self assessment of sorts right off the bat.  My biggest questions are how am I doing as a father and how am I doing as a husband.  I suppose the one I think of most often between those two is how am I doing as a father.  The reason for that is because Carsyn and Olivia are still very young and extremely impressionable.  My actions today shape who they will become tomorrow. 

Children are so enjoyable.  As a parent, you see snapshots of your own life when you watch your children.  Some of what you see makes you smile, and some of what you see makes you cringe w/ embarassment.  As I contemplated my effect on my children, I wondered one big question.  If Carsyn and Olivia could articulate (based upon their observation of me) how a father is supposed to behave, what would they say?  As far as any kid is concerned, their own father is the standard to which all other fathers are measured against.  So, what would my kids say?  The questions I’m most curious about are: “How is a dad supposed to react when you do something bad?” “How often are dad’s supposed to show you he loves you (using my actions as the standard)?” “How important is giving supposed to be in your life (if they are trying to be like me)?” and “How much of a role does God play in making decisions in our family?”  These are questions I feel would define me not only as a father but as a person.  How horrible would I feel if the answer to the first question was “You are supposed to yell at that person” or the second was “when you do something good?”

What got me thinking about this today was my remembering the problems we were having with Carsyn last night as she did not want to listen to mommy or daddy.  I remembered how frustrated I got with her and then began thinking how much more frustrated God must get with me as I routinely do exactly the same thing.  That thought then prodded me to think about my reaction to Carsyn’s misbehavior.  Did I handle it the right way?  What did Carsyn see in and through me as a result of my behavior?  God is a God of love and mercy.  At the end of the discipline process, does Carsyn see me as a loving dad or does she see a disciplinarian who is unyielding in his standards?  I remember that the very first illustration of God my children should see is how I deal with them.  They should see a tiny view of how God deals with his children in the way I deal with them.  Do they?  I hope so.  I pray so.

Breaking the code (part I)

Some people make a living out of decoding encrypted messages.  Many of these people serve our government in the Department of Homeland Security.  Unfortunately, for many men this is where the ability to decode messages ends. 

In the world of a guy, communication is fairly black and white.  This is not true for a woman.  Take the following as examples:

When I sit and talk with a friend, I might ask him how a mutual friend is doing.  For me, a simple response of “fine” is acceptable.  To me, this means he is doing the same as the last time I saw him.  We might dive into the topic further for about 30 seconds or so, but that’s it.  However, when a woman asks you how someone is doing the same response of “fine” won’t work.  In fact, prepare for a tongue lashing.  When a woman asks how someone is doing, what they are asking is did anything exciting happen to them recently, if so how did they respond, if not then why not, how is their spouse, how are their kids, why haven’t we seen them lately, how is their work going, when will we see them again, and what did they have to eat last night (just to name a few things).  So, for the unmarried guys (or newly married ones) remember this, if/when your wife/girlfriend (you can only have one…I’m not suggesting you have both) asks you how someone is, spill your guts.  If you know their credit score, tell her that too.  Tell her anything other than “fine.”  Trust me, that is the path of least resistance.

Probably the most significant thing to understand is this:  “Nothing” never means nothing.  Let me elaborate.  Say you violate the previously mentioned “never say fine” rule.  Your significant other sits quietly.  You ask her what’s wrong and she says “nothing.”  DON’T BELIEVE HER!!!!  While she might have verbally said nothing is wrong, what she has really said is, “Boy you just screwed up and you had better start sucking up to me in a hurry or I’ll make your life miserable.”  The absolute worst thing you can do at this point as a guy is continue on with what you were doing because she said nothing is wrong.  You are now entering troubled waters and must proceed with caution. 

A third encrypted code is the line “5 minutes.”  This has a double meaning depending on the context it is used in.  For example, when you ask when she will be ready, her response is “5 minutes.”  15 minutes later you are leaving.  Accepting that 5 minutes is another way of saying “leave me alone, I’ll be ready when I’m ready” will go far in preventing arguments in your relationship.  Now, when you are watching a game and you tell her you’ll be up in 5 minutes, you do not get the same pass.  Don’t believe me?  Try it and see.  I dare say it will only take one time for you to understand.  Under no circumstance are you to bring up this double standard.  If you do, you might as well return to the paragraph above for how to continue forward.

When your wife/girlfriend comments on how good her friend/sister/some random woman looked, this is not an invitation for you to start commenting on how good that person looked.  This is true even if she asks you what you thought.  What she is doing is fishing for a compliment (even if it is on a subconscious level).  The safest approach is to agree w/ her but immediately follow it up w/ a compliment to her that sets her above the woman being discussed.  For example, “Yes, dear, she did look good, BUT I didn’t notice her all that much because I couldn’t take my eyes off of you.”  See what happened there?  You acknowledged a stated fact, but made sure you placed your wife/girlfriend above “that other girl.”  Some might tell you to disagree w/ your significant other and make some disparaging remark (like “I think she’s gained weight”), but that gets dangerous.  If that is a close friend of hers you might do more harm than good.  The sure fire way is the way I recommended.  Even if she knows you are lying, she will appreciate the compliment and the attempt at making her feel good.

Seeing as how I’ve already passed the 700 word count, I’ll cut this list off for now.  As indicated, this is merely part one of an ongoing series.  Hope this was entertaining (oh, and Kelly, I always mean it when I say you look better than any woman in the room).

Belated Movie Review

The other week, the family and I went over to the Wheeler’s house for pizza and a movie.  The movie of choice was The Pink Panther.  Now, I must admit I was more than a little sceptical about this movie.  I expected it to be dumb…and not in a good way.  I expected it to be dull and the jokes to fall flat.  However, what I found was nothing shy of cinematic mastery.  Take the following scene:   How can a person sit back and not at least quietly chuckle to themselves?  I don’t care who you are, passing gas is always good for a laugh.  It’s like it’s somehow ingrained in our DNA to laugh at such events.

The whole movie wasn’t just about passing gas.  There was also a wonderful display of team work.  Just watch and see:   Just classic.

In short, I’d highly recommend this movie to anyone and look forward to the release of the next one.  If you are dead set against this movie because you are loyal to the old school version, you are only robbing yourself of pure enjoyment.  It’s an A+  If nothing else, this movie will give you 2 new phrases to arbitrarily say at any point in time (“I’d like to buy a hamburger” said w/ a quasi French accent and “Lovely weather we are having today”…you have to have seen the movie to catch that one).  Lastly, the camouflage scene is classic.  Probably the hardest I’ve laughed in a long time.  I tried to find a clip to attach, but no luck.  Again, if you haven’t seen this movie go watch it.  It’s a MUST SEE.