Breaking the Code (Part II)

I would never wish to be labeled unfair.  So, in an attempt to maintain harmony and produce a blog that offers equal exposure to both sides of the gender coin I will now embark on the male language.  For some reason I think the ladies will enjoy this one a bit more.  Hope you are entertained.

1.  “Uh huh” – If a woman says this to another woman, this demonstrates active listening skills.  When a guy says it, it is simply a place keeper (i.e. keep you in place where you are at on the couch and not have you get up in front of the TV to get his attention).  News flash: guys are not sneaky about using this technique.  It’s quite obvious.  Admittedly, my wife calls me on this all the time.

2. “In a minute” – This is a phrase that is simply a last ditch effort.  A stalling tactic.  The guy is well aware this phrase does not get the wife/girlfriend to leave him alone by saying this phrase.  On the contrary.  He knows it is just a matter of time before the “she devil” come back in the room and unleashes her wrath on him like a tidal wave.  However, this phrase is a meager attempt to shore that dam in an attempt to buy just a couple more minutes of game time.  Is it worth it?  It is if it allows you to get to half time without missing anything.

3. “Fine” – Contrary to She-nglish, when a guy says “fine” he is not using it as a place keeper for a future argument.  What this word means is “I’m sick of arguing about it, you win by default.”

4. “The game is on” – It doesn’t matter what game it is…it’s on.  This is not simply to inform the world that somewhere in America a game of some sort is being played.  No, it is a decree that for the next few hours anything that is not truly categorized as an emergency can wait.  Oh, and an emergency to a guy during game time is anything that will directly cause the loss of life in a short time…or the pizza is here.

5. “Of course I remember what today is” - Seriously, we’ve got no clue.  Just look at our expression.  Mildly panicked, sweating, looking around rapidly for clues.  What we are actually saying at this moment is “Oh crap.  What day IS it.  Think, think, think.  Shoot, still nothing.  Quick, make up some sappy lie…uh, like the first time I realized how beautiful your eyes are.  That’s it…that should at least buy me some mercy at the executioner’s table.”

6. “I’ll be right back” – This one is a situational one.  If we are headed into the lingerie section…we’ll be right back.  If we are going to the electronics section, don’t wait up for us.

I hope this balances out the two and provides a little bit of entertainment along the way.  If you have others please feel free to share.

Groundhog Day

Quite a few years ago, I saw a movie called Groundhog Day.  The movie is about a guy who relives the same day over and over and over until he gets it right.  The main character is played by Bill Murray and the leading actress is played by Andy McDowell.  Good movie, in my opinion.  I digress.  Anyways, I bring up this movie because this is what my life has felt like during the past couple of weeks.  Get home at 7am, go to bed, wake up at 2 or 3pm, spend a little time with the family, get showered and dressed for work, leave for work at 5:15pm, start the work day at 6pm, get relieved and head home at 6:30 am.  Day after day until I finally reach Sunday when I have a day off.

I think the most frustrating part is there is so much I don’t know right now.  The people I’m supposed to be supervising ask me a question and I don’t know the answer.  Fortunately I’m working with some really good folks who understand I have a VERY limited knowledge when it comes to knowing their job.  However, that doesn’t make it any less frustrating when I want to make a significant contribution to the shop but can’t because I simply don’t have the knowledge.  My eyes and ears are open, so each day I learn a little more.  However, I fear I’m not very patient when it comes to wanting the knowledge that can only come with time.

The good side of the plant shutdown and my 12hr shifts 6 days a week is the wonderful paychecks it will bring.  Even though I’m salary, I will receive straight time overtime pay for the 32 hours per week overtime I’m working.  I still can’t wait to be back on my regular schedule, however, and start getting back into the AWANA rotation, and being back at church both day and night.  Just a couple more weeks left.

I do owe my wife a big thank you for her patience during not just this odd schedule I’m working but also during the wrestling season that I just finished coaching in.  I know it’s not fun to deal with all this, but she has been extremely supportive and I love her so much for it.